When God gives you a wife/husband, He will give you someone who will help you, not hinder you.
One day, the angel appeared to Manoah’s wife. Before he announced what God was going to do for her, he told her about herself. You are barren (Judges 13:3). God wanted her to know that He knew her condition and that He had forgotten about her. The scriptures doesn’t mention whether it was her desire to have children or if she and her husband had prayed for a child. All I know is that God saw a need. He (Samson) shall begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines (vs 5).
To conceive a child seemed impossible. Manoah and his wife had tried for years, but what had been impossible with man was about to become possible with God. He was going to make it happen. There was a problem and God was going to create the solution for that problem.
The angel gave Samson’s mother two promises. First, he promised her that she would conceive. Then, he promised her that she would bear a son. Not everyone that becomes pregnant gives birth, but she was going to do both.
There is a need and the people in your home, on your job and in your community need someone who will pray on their behalf. They need someone who will choose to live holy. And God needs someone who will be consistent, faithful and who will do what He tells them to do.
The angel told Manoah’s wife what not to touch, eat or drink because of what she was carrying inside of her. I don’t think we carefully consider what we are carrying inside of us (the Spirit of God, the word of God, etc). If we did, we would make better choices.
But for the next nine months, she gave up some things. She put away some things. She stopped doing certain things so that the needs of the people would be met. You see, God wasn’t just giving her a son, but He was giving a deliverer to a people that He loved and called His Son (Exodus 4:22).
My prayer for every person who is reading this is that you will not MIS-carry, be MIS-led or MISS what God has for you or what He wants to do through you for His people.
I remember one time the Lord told me that an individual wasn’t my husband and I thought, God, come on. We have so much in common. We both love the Lord. We love studying and teaching the word of God. We even talk for hours – about You. This has to be my husband.
But God was right. As nice and wonderful as that man was, he wasn’t my husband.
Another time, God told me that an individual was using me. I thought, No way. Not this person. He hates liars and cheaters. He would never do that to me.
But God was right again. The individual later admitted that he really didn’t want me. He was just using me.
When you read about Eve in the book of Genesis, God gave both her and Adam knowledge and truth. He also warned them. He told them what not to do as well as why they shouldn’t do it.
The reason why God spoke to them first was because he knew that another voice (contrary to His voice) was coming. I know that the bible only records one conversation between the serpent and Eve, but I’m a woman and I know women. Women love to talk. For Eve to trust the serpent, it had to have taken more than just one conversation. (I’m just saying). The serpent was subtle so he knew he had to gain her trust. Building trust takes time, but he waited patiently. He didn’t know her desires (Genesis 3:6), but he talked to the woman until it was revealed and then he tempted her with what she desired.
The enemy has heard some of our conversations and he knows that you desire to be married. He knows that you’re tired of struggling. He knows that you’re tired of living paycheck to paycheck. So, he offers you what sounds like God, but isn’t God. He offers you ‘get-quick rich’ schemes. He offers you things that are pleasant to the eyes, but not to your soul.
Lack of knowledge was not Eve’s problem. Her problem was she didn’t believe what God said. She didn’t believe the truth. She really thought she was getting something better than what God had already given her and Adam. (Before God placed Adam and Eve in the garden, he prepared the garden for them).
Eve did something that a lot of singles desiring to be married do. She trusted the serpent, but she never tested him (1 John 4:1). God doesn’t want any of us to be deceived like Eve. He doesn’t want us to settle just because we’re feeling lonely. And he doesn’t want us to rush into anything just because you’re tired of waiting or because you think that you are running out of time.
God always warns us first because he sees the destruction that lies ahead. Heed the warning. Heed the signs. When you refuse to stop at the stop sign, your failure to obey the sign not only affects you, but it can bring hurt and harm to others.
I didn’t mean for this to be a topic about relationships, but maybe someone needed to read this. Maybe I’m writing this because someone (or myself) had to be reminded of how precious and great you are – with or without a husband or wife.
There are some people who have been called to singleness, but if God has promised you a husband, may that man love you as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it (Ephesians 5:25). And if God has promised you a wife, may she do you good, and not harm, all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:12).
But while you’re single, LIVE. Enjoy being single. Don’t despise it. Don’t complain about it. Learn to be content in the state or status you are in. You don’t have the responsibilities a wife or husband has (yet) so use every opportunity you have to care for the things of the Lord and to please HIM.
Ministry doesn’t begin behind the pulpit. It begins behind the walls of your home.
Responsibility of the parent:
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).
But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever (1 Timothy 5:8, NKJV).
Responsibility of the husband:
In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered (1 Peter 3:7, NLT).
Responsibility of the wife:
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate, not as inferior, but out of respect for the responsibilities entrusted to husbands and their accountability to God, and so partnering with them] so that even if some do not obey the word of God, they may be won over to Christ without discussion by the godly lives of their wives (1 Peter 3:1, AMP).
Responsibility of adult children/grandchildren:
But if a widow has children or grandchildren, they should learn to serve God by taking care of her, as she once took care of them. This is what God wants them to do (1 Timothy 5:4, CEV).
The first place to do God’s work is in the home (1 Timothy 5:4, WE).
People today use the word, love, loosely.
But you have found real love – through God.
Love forgave you.
Love stayed when everyone else left.
Love prayed you through some difficult times.
Love built you up, not tear you down.
King Lemuel didn’t say a good woman was rare. He said a virtuous woman was rare. One of the definitions of virtuous is strength. To strengthen your muscles, you have to lift, push and pull. She didn’t gain this strength overnight. She went through some things to become what you see today and because she didn’t give up, it strengthened her faith in God, her love for God and for you.
Please don’t take her for granted. Remember when you were single. Remember when you desired to be married. You were looking. You were searching. When you found a wife, you just didn’t find her, but you found favor from the Lord.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22).
God has been very good to you. Despite all the bad things you’ve done, God still gave you a ‘good thing’. Even though you’re not perfect, He gave you what was right and perfect for you. Enjoy her (Proverbs 5:18). Do good to her. Respect her. Love her.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it (Ephesians 5:25).
Then the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him (Genesis 2:18).
Don’t let the enemy deceive you. There are a lot of beautiful women out there and there are a lot of good women out there, but you already have the help you need. You don’t have to look anymore.
Your Sister in Christ
There was a man who was given a great responsibility to help rear and train up God’s only Son and our Savior, Jesus.
His name was Joseph. He is described as a just man (Matthew 1:19). He was engaged and he respected his fiancée. He made the choice to wait until his wedding day, but while they were engaged, he found out that his soon-to-be wife was pregnant – with Someone else’s child. I’m sure he was hurt and disappointed by the news, but he didn’t embarrass or humiliate Mary. He didn’t publicly disgrace her. I believe he was afraid what other people would say or think of him (as they weren’t married yet), but he was also concerned about Mary – how she felt and how she would be treated.
Joseph had planned on calling off the engagement quietly, but God had a plan, too. Joseph was about to walk away from favor and from his ‘good thing’. He was about to give up before he received his deliverance, but before he could do anything, God sent an angel to Joseph. Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins (Matthew 1:20).
Joseph obeyed the angel. He didn’t push Mary away. He protected her. He endured the difficult times (with her). He didn’t leave her when she needed him. He didn’t allow her to have this baby alone in a stable. Not only did they go through some things while Mary was pregnant, but they also had to go through some things after Jesus was born. God gave Joseph and Mary what He promised, but it was a fight to keep, guard and protect the promise. Joseph couldn’t be lazy. He couldn’t procrastinate. He couldn’t do what God told him to do when he wanted to do it. He had to pick up his family and flee to Egypt during the night – when it was inconvenient, when others were sleeping – because Herod wanted to kill the One who would give life to many. When God told him to move, he moved (Matthew 2:13, 19).
Although the bible doesn’t tell us all that Joseph went through, I know it wasn’t easy. In fact, I’m sure he cried or wanted to cry sometimes, but he held on because he believed what God said. He believed that Jesus was born to save all men.
He cared for his wife, but he also cared for Jesus. Do you remember when Joseph and his family went to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover? Jesus was twelve years old at the time. When they left the celebration, they didn’t realize that Jesus wasn’t with them. They turned back around to Jerusalem and after three days, they found him in a temple, hearing and asking the doctors questions. When they couldn’t find Jesus, this not only affected Mary, but it affected Joseph, too. His mother said to him, Son, why have you done this to us. Your father and I have sought you sorrowing (Luke 2:48). If Joseph could care for a child who was not his biological son, surely God can send a man to a single mother who will care for her children like they are his own.
God gives some the gift of a husband or wife, and others he gives the gift of being able to stay happily unmarried (1 Corinthians 7:7, TLB).
According to the above scripture, to be married is a gift, but to be ‘happily unmarried’ is also a gift. If God gives you a husband or a wife, He doesn’t want you to treat this gift as we would a toy or a new car. After a certain number of years, some of us want something new or something better, but God doesn’t want us to treat people the way we treat things. He wants us to value what He gives us because what He gives us doesn’t lose value.
This makes me think about the prodigal son. His older brother said he was living with prostitutes (Luke 15:30). When the prodigal son returned home, he told his father he wasn’t worthy to be called his son (Luke 15:19), but what he didn’t realize was the moment he humbled himself and repented to his father for what he had done, everything was restored back to him. And guess what? He was still his father’s son. His father hadn’t changed his mind about him. The reason why the prodigal son was doing the things he did with his body was because he didn’t understand his value, but the good news is he never lost his value. And he didn’t lose his position either (Luke 15:22). He just left it.
He that is unmarried cares for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:32).
The above scripture tells us what we should be doing while we’re single. Are we faithful to God in this area of our lives? What are we doing with this gift (of being unmarried)? Or maybe we don’t see it as a gift. Are we happily unmarried or are we only happy when we have someone?
Joseph was a good man, a good husband and a good father. He was the type of man that most women would desire to marry. To those ladies who God has promised a husband, there is a ‘Joseph’ for you, but why would God give us (I’m including myself) a ‘Joseph’ if we’re not willing to become a ‘Mary’? Have you ever thought that what you’re expecting from your future husband is what God expects from us, His bride? It was just as important for Mary to be obedient as it was for Joseph to be obedient. Ladies, there is nothing wrong with having standards, but it’s not right to desire for a man to be to you what you fail to be or become for God.
Mary didn’t allow herself to be used by different men, but she offered her body to be used by God. She may have not understood everything Gabriel told her and we know she was afraid (Luke 1:30), but she obeyed. She didn’t resist God. She didn’t fight God. She submitted to Him. Be it unto me according to your word (Luke 1:38). For some of us, that’s been the problem. We’ve been saying yes to what we should be saying no to, and saying no to what we should be saying yes to.
I’m not ashamed to tell you that I’ve gotten involved in relationships that I should have never been in, but so have some of you. I also know that just like the prodigal son’s brother, the enemy will condemn us, remind us of all the things we’ve done wrong and try to make us feel not worthy to be married or remarried again, but God is not looking at what you did then. He is looking at what you’re doing now.
Well, how much longer do I have to wait? I’m not getting any younger. Maybe you’re not waiting on your husband. Maybe your husband is waiting on you. James 5:7 speaks of the farmer who is patient. The reason why he is patient is because he believes that what he’s waiting for is ‘precious’.
Just in case you’ve forgotten, I just want to remind someone today that no matter what you’ve done in the past and no matter how many men have touched you,
You are still precious.
You haven’t lost your value.
And you are worth waiting for.