Even though God has told me on three separate occasions that He was going to bless me with a husband, I got weary along the way. It’s been almost twelve years since my divorce and sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever marry again.
Maybe God changed His mind.
Maybe you don’t deserve a husband.
Maybe the person God had for you married someone else.
That’s what the enemy was telling me.
I knew the last relationship I was involved in wasn’t going to last because he wasn’t what God described, but because I was tired of waiting and tired of being alone, I settled. I thought God had forgotten about me. I had become this woman that I didn’t like – desperate, begging for love and attention. To be in that relationship, I had to compromise, but what I was doing to please man wasn’t pleasing to God. I made sacrifices hoping to make someone happy, but when was I going to become a sacrifice to God? When was I going to make Him happy?
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service (Romans 12:1).
God said that if His people, who are called by His name, will humble themselves, pray, seek His face, and turn from their wicked ways, then He will hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and He will heal their land (2 Chronicles 7:14). A lot of us want God to hear us when we pray, we want Him to forgive us and to heal us, but some of us only want to pray, but we don’t want to turn.
I repented to God for not trusting Him and for making a decision without consulting Him first.
Although that was good, it wasn’t enough. I had to also turn.
So I let Ishmael go so that what God promised (Isaac) can come.
The fear of being alone (again) is not a good reason to stay in a bad relationship.
I watched a video the other day. I apologize that I’m unable to tell you the name of the man that responded to the above question, but I thought this was worth sharing.
Question: Why is it important to wait until marriage to have sex?
Answer: One day, I was looking at perfume bottles that were on the counter at the mall. Two labels were placed on those bottles. The bottles on top of the counter read ‘tester’ and ‘not for sale’. Anyone passing by could touch these bottles.
But the bottles that were for sale were in the display case. You could look at these bottles, but you couldn’t touch them. The reason why they were behind the counter was because the unwrapping of them was only for the people that were willing to pay the price.
When we don’t save ourselves for marriage, we become only testers and testers soon become empty after being used so many times.
I remember one time the Lord told me that an individual wasn’t my husband and I thought, God, come on. We have so much in common. We both love the Lord. We love studying and teaching the word of God. We even talk for hours – about You. This has to be my husband.
But God was right. As nice and wonderful as that man was, he wasn’t my husband.
Another time, God told me that an individual was using me. I thought, No way. Not this person. He hates liars and cheaters. He would never do that to me.
But God was right again. The individual later admitted that he really didn’t want me. He was just using me.
When you read about Eve in the book of Genesis, God gave both her and Adam knowledge and truth. He also warned them. He told them what not to do as well as why they shouldn’t do it.
The reason why God spoke to them first was because he knew that another voice (contrary to His voice) was coming. I know that the bible only records one conversation between the serpent and Eve, but I’m a woman and I know women. Women love to talk. For Eve to trust the serpent, it had to have taken more than just one conversation. (I’m just saying). The serpent was subtle so he knew he had to gain her trust. Building trust takes time, but he waited patiently. He didn’t know her desires (Genesis 3:6), but he talked to the woman until it was revealed and then he tempted her with what she desired.
The enemy has heard some of our conversations and he knows that you desire to be married. He knows that you’re tired of struggling. He knows that you’re tired of living paycheck to paycheck. So, he offers you what sounds like God, but isn’t God. He offers you ‘get-quick rich’ schemes. He offers you things that are pleasant to the eyes, but not to your soul.
Lack of knowledge was not Eve’s problem. Her problem was she didn’t believe what God said. She didn’t believe the truth. She really thought she was getting something better than what God had already given her and Adam. (Before God placed Adam and Eve in the garden, he prepared the garden for them).
Eve did something that a lot of singles desiring to be married do. She trusted the serpent, but she never tested him (1 John 4:1). God doesn’t want any of us to be deceived like Eve. He doesn’t want us to settle just because we’re feeling lonely. And he doesn’t want us to rush into anything just because you’re tired of waiting or because you think that you are running out of time.
God always warns us first because he sees the destruction that lies ahead. Heed the warning. Heed the signs. When you refuse to stop at the stop sign, your failure to obey the sign not only affects you, but it can bring hurt and harm to others.
I didn’t mean for this to be a topic about relationships, but maybe someone needed to read this. Maybe I’m writing this because someone (or myself) had to be reminded of how precious and great you are – with or without a husband or wife.
There are some people who have been called to singleness, but if God has promised you a husband, may that man love you as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it (Ephesians 5:25). And if God has promised you a wife, may she do you good, and not harm, all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:12).
But while you’re single, LIVE. Enjoy being single. Don’t despise it. Don’t complain about it. Learn to be content in the state or status you are in. You don’t have the responsibilities a wife or husband has (yet) so use every opportunity you have to care for the things of the Lord and to please HIM.