Living Single V

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Even though God has told me on three separate occasions that He was going to bless me with a husband, I got weary along the way. It’s been almost twelve years since my divorce and sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever marry again.

Maybe God changed His mind.

Maybe you don’t deserve a husband.

Maybe the person God had for you married someone else.

That’s what the enemy was telling me.

I knew the last relationship I was involved in wasn’t going to last because he wasn’t what God described, but because I was tired of waiting and tired of being alone, I settled. I thought God had forgotten about me. I had become this woman that I didn’t like – desperate, begging for love and attention. To be in that relationship, I had to compromise, but what I was doing to please man wasn’t pleasing to God. I made sacrifices hoping to make someone happy, but when was I going to become a sacrifice to God? When was I going to make Him happy?

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service (Romans 12:1).

God said that if His people, who are called by His name, will humble themselves, pray, seek His face, and turn from their wicked ways, then He will hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and He will heal their land (2 Chronicles 7:14). A lot of us want God to hear us when we pray, we want Him to forgive us and to heal us, but some of us only want to pray, but we don’t want to turn.

I repented to God for not trusting Him and for making a decision without consulting Him first.

Although that was good, it wasn’t enough. I had to also turn.

So I let Ishmael go so that what God promised (Isaac) can come.


Too Valuable To Lose

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I decided to go on a three-day fast a few weeks ago. I was hurting and crying. Depression was trying to creep in. I didn’t want to get out of bed and my attitude at work was horrible.

Nothing I tried helped and no one could help me, but I was reminded of what Jesus told his disciples. This kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.  I was desperate and willing to do whatever it took to get what I needed. That meant no food. No television. No social media. It was a fight, but I was tired of hearing my flesh, my wants and my desires and I wanted to hear God.

I usually pray throughout the day – standing, sitting down, lying down, walking, but this day I was lying prostrate on the floor, on my face, crying out to God, asking Him to help me. I didn’t pretend like everything was alright. I didn’t tell him what I normally tell my family and coworkers.

I’m good.

I’m fine.

I’m okay.

No, I got honest with God. I know He knows and sees everything, but I told him anyway. Then, I told him what I wanted Him to do for me and that I was giving him three days to do it. I know. That’s pretty bold, but that’s how God wants us to come before Him. Besides, a lot can happen in three days. Jesus is a great example of that.

Each day, God gave me scriptures to read. Here I was crying because I felt rejected, but God began to show me in the scriptures how I rejected Him. You see, any time you reject the truth, you reject Him . When I realized what I had done to Him, all I could do was cry, repent and ask for His forgiveness. 

By the third day, the Lord said, I have done what you asked.

The following morning, the Lord said, Whatever you fight to get, you will have to fight to keep. God did what I asked. It was His job to give it, but it was my job to keep it.

This reminds me of the parable of the lost coin. That woman became so desperate to find her coin that she lit a candle and swept the whole house. 

Sometimes we lose things because we don’t understand the value of what we have. Because she was diligently seeking it, she found it and when she found the coin, she acknowledged what she did. She didn’t blame anyone for this. I found the piece that I lost.

What that woman did was what I had to do to get back what I lost. I lost my joy because 1) I couldn’t see my value and 2) I couldn’t see the value in the words that God gave me. I stopped believing what He said and I didn’t trust Him like I should. I was acting like Esau – like I was going to die if God didn’t give me what I wanted now. But I forgot that God hated Esau (flesh).

Today, I’m so grateful for what God has done, but I’m asking the Holy Spirit to help me not to take what God did for me lightly or for granted – that I keep, protect and guard what He has given me because what He has given me is too valuable to lose.

If Jesus won’t lose all that the Father has given Him, then I shall not lose all that He’s given me.


[Scripture references: Matthew 17:21; Luke 15:8-10; Romans 9:13; John 6:39]

Forget About It

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You remember it, but God has forgotten it.

God has forgiven you. Now forgive yourself. 

But I wipe away your sins because of who I am. And so, I will forget the wrongs you have done (Isaiah 43:25, CEV).

Happy Father’s Day!

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I remember some years ago being angry with my dad and blaming him for some things. I thought that if he had done some things differently, then my life would have turned out differently.

But one day, I became a parent – and you know what?  I’ve made mistakes and poor choices that may or may not have affected my children.

I realize now that my dad did the best he could for his family.  At that time, I was so focused on the wrong that he did that I forgot about all the things he did right.

As we celebrate Father’s Day this weekend, I just wanted to make a list of some of those ‘right’ things.

1.    He married my mom.

2.    He was never lazy. He was a hard worker.  He worked six days a week.

3.    Instead of making other people rich, he learned how to make money for his family. He became a business owner (without a college degree).

4.    He didn’t send me to church. He made sure I went to church with him every Sunday.

5.    He attended PTO meetings.

6.    When I went to college, I had no idea what financial aid was.

7.    When I divorced my husband and didn’t have a place to stay, he opened his home to his two grandchildren and me. (He didn’t have to do that. I’m sure he was happy he finally had the house all to himself).

8.    In recent years, he always thanks me and tells me how much he appreciates the things I do for him.

But the best thing I remember about my dad is:

9.    He moved his mother in with him to help take care of my sister and me after my mom’s passing (I was 13 months old).  When his mother was no longer able to take care of us, he made sure she was taken care of until the day she died.

With all the flaws, mistakes and shortcomings, my dad is still a great man. (He will be turning 83 years old next month).

Whether your dad is present or absent in your life, be grateful that God used him to get you here. I pray that the love and forgiveness extended to you from your Heavenly Father teaches you how to love and forgive your earthly father (as well as the father of your children, ladies). May God restore broken relationships to those who are estranged from their fathers and to those whose fathers have passed away, may you experience God’s strength, comfort and healing this weekend.

Happy Father’s Day – today and every day!

A Prayer for All Saints

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Father, forgive us for sinning against you.  Forgive us for grieving your Holy Spirit.   May believers everywhere humble themselves, pray, seek Your face and turn from our wicked ways.  Lead us to true repentance by Your Spirit.  May we return to our posts as watchmen on the wall, not keeping silent day or night.

By Your Spirit, raise up those who are spiritually dead and spiritually sleeping.  I pray that we return to our first love and to our first works.  Raise up apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers after Your own heart, who will do all that You have commanded them to do.  Raise up pastors who will feed Your people with knowledge and understanding.  I pray for the manifestation of the sons of the God.

Give us a thirst and hunger for righteousness.  Restore the joy of our salvation.  Help us by Your Spirit to stir up the gift of God and to not neglect the gift that is in us.  May You find us with our loins girded about and our lights burning.

The gates of hell will not prevail against the church.  We will not faint.  Our faith will not fail.  Ever demonic plan and plot sent to put us under is going under now.  I break it in many pieces in the name of Jesus.  I command Your light to shine in our churches, homes, businesses, communities and cities and to expose every work of the devil in the name of Jesus.

I bind and rebuke the spirit of dissension, discord and division against the church and I loose the spirit of love.  I loose the spirit of power.  I assassinate every demonic assignment sent to assassinate, paralyze, destroy and slowly silence Your people.  Shame, embarrassment and humiliation will not come to our doors, but it shall be the portion of the wicked.

Forgive us for the way we treat our brothers and sisters.  Forgive us for hurting those whom You have sent to help us.  Forgive us for not obeying those that have rule over us.  Forgive us for not submitting to them.  Help us to be slow to anger and quick to forgive.  Help us to love You with all our heart, mind, soul and strength and to love our neighbor.  We repent of selfishness, pride, slothfulness, complacency and disobedience.  Forgive us for seeking to be served when You have sent us to serve and to give life to others.

I pray that we all become serious about You.  May we seek a real relationship with You.  Forgive us for playing games.  Forgive us for seeking after those things that the heathen seek after.  Forgive us for trying to conform to this world.  Forgive us for withholding the truth and help us to speak the truth in love.  Forgive us for just wanting to be hearers and not doers also.  May we be the church that Your Son is coming back for – holy and without blemish.

Thank You for being patient with us, thank You that You don’t want any of us to perish and thank You for giving us space to repent.  Amen.

You Will Have What You Say

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If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you shall SAY unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place and it shall remove, and nothing shall be impossible unto you (Matthew 17:20).

If you have faith and doubt not, you shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if you shall SAY unto this mountain, Be removed and be cast into the sea, it shall be done (Matthew 21:21).

Whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be removed and be cast into the sea, and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he SAY shall come to pass, he shall have whatsoever he said (Mark 11:23).

If you had faith as a grain of mustard seed, you might SAY unto this sycamine tree, Be plucked up by the root and be planted in the sea, and it should obey you (Luke 17:6).

In order for the word to work in your life, it must be mixed with faith. The people of the Old Testament didn’t just obtain promises through faith, but they stopped the mouths of lions through faith. They were made strong and became mighty through faith. They won battles through faith (Hebrews 11:33-34). When you fail to believe what you heard, the message will not do you any good. You must accept it. You must receive it. You must believe that you will receive. Otherwise, it will not profit you. The enemy will tell you lies, but God has given us His word, which is true. It is our job to read and meditate on the truth every day. It is our job to say what is written – with confidence.

And the devil said unto him, If you be the Son of God, command this stone that it be made bread  (Luke 4:3).

And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God  (Luke 4:4).

God has given us power over all the power of the enemy. We’ve prayed long enough about our problems. Now it’s time to SAY something to the spirit that is causing the problem. In Mark 9, there was a father who took his son to Jesus’ disciples because he was tormented. The son would convulsed and have seizures, but there was a spirit operating behind this. This spirit would cast him into the fire and into the waters. Its purpose was to destroy this young man (vs 22). The disciples couldn’t cast out what was in the boy so the father brought him to Jesus. Jesus rebuked the foul spirit and He SAID to the dumb and deaf spirit, “I charge you, come out of him, and enter no more into him”. Jesus didn’t talk to the young man (physical). He spoke to the spirit. The words He spoke are spirit and spirit understands spirit. Our fight is not against what we can see. It is against what we cannot see.

We’ve been talking about our health problems when we should be rebuking infirmity and disease. You have been given power to do what Jesus did to the fig tree (Matthew 21:21). We’ve been talking about our money problems when we should be rebuking the thief, mammon and the devourer. And let me just add – If you want God to forgive your debts, first forgive your debtors. Forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against. Then, the above scriptures will work in your life.

Because you will have whatever you say, make sure that you only say what you want to come to pass. I wish I could tell you that it will be easy, but attacks will come. I was attacked in my sleep just a few nights ago. A hand was covering my mouth. That only proved to me how powerful the tongue is (Proverbs 18:21). Jericho was securely shut up because the people were afraid of the Israelites. None went out and none came in. This is what the enemy is trying to do to us. He wants to bring fear (as well as other things) in our lives so that we will shut up, but if nothing comes out of your mouth, then nothing can come into your life. The devil wants us to be weary in doing well. He wants us to stop praying (or pray less). He wants us to stop asking because he knows that when we ask and keep asking, it shall be given. He wants us to quit, but don’t do what he wants you to do. Do what God is telling you to do. If we do what God tells us to do and tell that ‘mountain’ what to do and where to go –

It shall move (Matthew 17:20).

It shall be done (Matthew 21:21).

It shall come to pass (Mark 11:23).

You will have whatever you said (Mark 11:23).

It will obey you (Luke 17:6).

This year, nothing will be impossible to us.

Blame, Blame, Blame

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She gave me of the tree and I ate it  (Genesis 3:12). Adam was very honest with God. He told Him what Eve did and he told Him what he did, but instead of taking responsibility for what he did, he blamed God. The woman who YOU gave to be with me.  What got Lucifer kicked out of heaven was the same thing that got Adam kicked out of the garden – pride. Pride finds fault in others and God hates it. Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall  (Proverbs 16:18).

I felt stupid. I felt used. I felt sorry for myself so I threw a pity party, but only demons came. Their names were Anger, Rage, Hurt, Disappointment, Bitterness, Retaliation, Unforgiveness, Doubt, Unbelief, Loneliness, Rejection, Suicide, Accusation, Pride, and Blame.

Blame is when you transfer responsibility from yourself to someone else. When you blame other people, it blinds you to the truth about you and the truth that I refused to admit was that I disobeyed God. I didn’t listen to Him. The truth is God warned me beforehand, but I refused to heed His warning. He is using you.  I thought God didn’t know what He was talking about. That person would never do that to me. When I think about it now, something had to have been seriously wrong with me. The Spirit of Truth was speaking to me. I know His voice. He was warning me, but I still didn’t believe Him. Instead of trusting the Truth, I put my trust in the Father of lies and now I was angry.

How did it all started? Talking to the wrong person. Be careful who you hold a conversation with. When the serpent was talking to Eve in the garden, he just wasn’t talking. He was impregnating her with words and she gave birth to doubt and unbelief. How do we know this? Had she believed God, she would have obeyed Him.

God did nothing to me, but I was angry with Him. I allowed my relationship with people to affect my relationship with God even though He wasn’t the One who hurt me. I no longer believed God’s word. I didn’t want to go to church. I didn’t want to hear scriptures, but one day God asked me, Why are you angry? If anyone should be angry, it should be Me because you disobeyed Me. You touched what I told you not to touch.


Here I was blaming God, but I really had no one to blame. God sent a word to deliver me from heartache, stress and trouble, but I chose not to trust and believe that word – and that led to trouble. I had a choice, but I chose to connect with the wrong people. I trusted the wrong people. Unfortunately, I was so angry and focused on what someone did to me that I never considered what I did to God. I deliberately disobeyed Him, I grieved the Holy Spirit and my decision not only affected me, but it affected other people – innocent people. I can talk about it now, but initially it was hard facing the truth about myself. I had to accept that what I was going through was a result of my rebellion and disobedience.

For months, the devil was tormenting me and reminding me of what this person did to me and what that person did to me and I finally told the devil, ‘No, you did this!’ You meant to harm me, but God meant it for good’. You see, the devil knows that such things as unforgiveness and strife (hidden and repressed anger) blocks the answers to our prayers. He also knows that when you allow any root of bitterness to grow, it not only troubles you, but it can contaminate and ruin the lives of many people (Hebrews 12:15).

Every day I have to choose  to forgive. Why? Because if I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me. If I don’t forgive others of their sins, my sins won’t be forgiven. There are people that I’m interceding for daily and I want them to be delivered through the cleanness of my hands (Job 22:30). Job went through a situation worse than I did yet in all that he went through, he didn’t sin nor did he charge Him foolishly (Job 1:22). In other words, He didn’t blame God nor did he accuse Him of wrongdoing. It’s impossible for God to do anything evil; no way can the Mighty One do wrong  (Job 34:12)

When you know you’ve done wrong, acknowledge it (Psalm 51:3). Accept responsibility for what YOU did.  If you want to prosper, confess and forsake your sins. Ask God to forgive you, forgive those who hurt you and forgive yourself.

Prayer: Father, forgive us for our disobedience. Forgive us for grieving your Spirit. Create in us a clean heart. Because we operated in the wrong spirit, we need you to renew a right spirit within us. Holy Spirit, help us to forget what the devil wants us to always remember. We loose and set ourselves free from bondage, hurt, disappointment, anger, grudges and self-pity. Lord, heal the brokenhearted and turn us from bitter to sweet. We receive the love of God and we choose to walk in Your love every day, in Jesus name. Amen.