She gave me of the tree and I ate it (Genesis 3:12). Adam was very honest with God. He told Him what Eve did and he told Him what he did, but instead of taking responsibility for what he did, he blamed God. The woman who YOU gave to be with me. What got Lucifer kicked out of heaven was the same thing that got Adam kicked out of the garden – pride. Pride finds fault in others and God hates it. Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall (Proverbs 16:18).
I felt stupid. I felt used. I felt sorry for myself so I threw a pity party, but only demons came. Their names were Anger, Rage, Hurt, Disappointment, Bitterness, Retaliation, Unforgiveness, Doubt, Unbelief, Loneliness, Rejection, Suicide, Accusation, Pride, and Blame.
Blame is when you transfer responsibility from yourself to someone else. When you blame other people, it blinds you to the truth about you and the truth that I refused to admit was that I disobeyed God. I didn’t listen to Him. The truth is God warned me beforehand, but I refused to heed His warning. He is using you. I thought God didn’t know what He was talking about. That person would never do that to me. When I think about it now, something had to have been seriously wrong with me. The Spirit of Truth was speaking to me. I know His voice. He was warning me, but I still didn’t believe Him. Instead of trusting the Truth, I put my trust in the Father of lies and now I was angry.
How did it all started? Talking to the wrong person. Be careful who you hold a conversation with. When the serpent was talking to Eve in the garden, he just wasn’t talking. He was impregnating her with words and she gave birth to doubt and unbelief. How do we know this? Had she believed God, she would have obeyed Him.
God did nothing to me, but I was angry with Him. I allowed my relationship with people to affect my relationship with God even though He wasn’t the One who hurt me. I no longer believed God’s word. I didn’t want to go to church. I didn’t want to hear scriptures, but one day God asked me, Why are you angry? If anyone should be angry, it should be Me because you disobeyed Me. You touched what I told you not to touch.
Here I was blaming God, but I really had no one to blame. God sent a word to deliver me from heartache, stress and trouble, but I chose not to trust and believe that word – and that led to trouble. I had a choice, but I chose to connect with the wrong people. I trusted the wrong people. Unfortunately, I was so angry and focused on what someone did to me that I never considered what I did to God. I deliberately disobeyed Him, I grieved the Holy Spirit and my decision not only affected me, but it affected other people – innocent people. I can talk about it now, but initially it was hard facing the truth about myself. I had to accept that what I was going through was a result of my rebellion and disobedience.
For months, the devil was tormenting me and reminding me of what this person did to me and what that person did to me and I finally told the devil, ‘No, you did this!’ You meant to harm me, but God meant it for good’. You see, the devil knows that such things as unforgiveness and strife (hidden and repressed anger) blocks the answers to our prayers. He also knows that when you allow any root of bitterness to grow, it not only troubles you, but it can contaminate and ruin the lives of many people (Hebrews 12:15).
Every day I have to choose to forgive. Why? Because if I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me. If I don’t forgive others of their sins, my sins won’t be forgiven. There are people that I’m interceding for daily and I want them to be delivered through the cleanness of my hands (Job 22:30). Job went through a situation worse than I did yet in all that he went through, he didn’t sin nor did he charge Him foolishly (Job 1:22). In other words, He didn’t blame God nor did he accuse Him of wrongdoing. It’s impossible for God to do anything evil; no way can the Mighty One do wrong (Job 34:12)
When you know you’ve done wrong, acknowledge it (Psalm 51:3). Accept responsibility for what YOU did. If you want to prosper, confess and forsake your sins. Ask God to forgive you, forgive those who hurt you and forgive yourself.
Prayer: Father, forgive us for our disobedience. Forgive us for grieving your Spirit. Create in us a clean heart. Because we operated in the wrong spirit, we need you to renew a right spirit within us. Holy Spirit, help us to forget what the devil wants us to always remember. We loose and set ourselves free from bondage, hurt, disappointment, anger, grudges and self-pity. Lord, heal the brokenhearted and turn us from bitter to sweet. We receive the love of God and we choose to walk in Your love every day, in Jesus name. Amen.