God told me not to do it, but instead of obeying the Spirit of God, I obeyed my flesh and did what I wanted to do. God could have changed His mind and tell me that I didn’t deserve what He wanted to give me, but He didn’t. His only words to me were ‘Not now’.
Not now is better than never.
All I could do was admit I was wrong, confess my sin, and repent. There was no excuse. I had been forewarned. Yes, the devil beat me over the head many times about it and it took me awhile to forgive myself, but the good news is even after I failed the test, God gave me grace to take the test again. That was six years ago and I made up in my mind that I didn’t want to add another six years in the wilderness.
It’s not that God doesn’t want to give us the things we are praying for, but He wants to be able to trust us with those things. Have you ever asked God for something and He said, ‘You’re not ready?’ It hurt when God told me that, but what would have hurt more is if He didn’t tell me and instead gave me something that I wasn’t ready for. God is not going to give you something that pulls you away from Him, but rather push you closer to Him.
It is possible for a thing to be good, but not good for you.
I know the wilderness is described as a dry place, but when you obey God, you can eat and drink there. You can enjoy where you are to where you are going. Just as we are given a set time to go to the next grade or graduate from school, God has given us a set time in the wilderness. It is not supposed to be your permanent condition. In fact, it is not a bad place, but the reason why we don’t like the wilderness is because it is uncomfortable and it is not familiar. This place reveals the areas where we do not trust God. This place shows us that we don’t know God like we think we do. Sometimes it feels like you’re going to die, but God didn’t bring you to the wilderness to die. He brought you here to kill those things that easily beset you and keep you from becoming what God called you to be. The wilderness is designed to train, teach and prepare you for where God is taking you.
Don’t focus on how long you’ve been in the wilderness, but focus on what the Spirit of God is teaching you in the wilderness. Don’t be discouraged for the wilderness is not your permanent residence. It is only temporary. You are only passing through. This wilderness experience is helping you to get to where God called you, but the longer you resist what God is doing, the longer you will remain there.